The "What Am I Doing Here" Moment

Last week I had lunch with some friends and one mentioned that every single day she gets a "what am I doing here" moment. Then to my surprise a bunch of the table chimed in and echoed the sentiment. Now I have my bad moments for sure, and have had frustration a plenty, but don't think I've really had a 'what am I doing here' moment... until today.

Today I sat through the first day of a two day conference on Orphans and Vulnerable Children (OVCs) conducted entirely in Luganda. Tonight I will miss out on a PC party and tomorrow I will miss out on hanging out at a swimming pool with other PC volunteers. Why? First, so I can listen to people argue in Luganda at speeds I wouldn't be able to translate if I had lived here a decade, and secondly, so my organization can parade me around like a giant stuffed animal they won at the fair. I'm the token white guy, and they are darn proud to have me. So as all this was going on the moment hit me. It mostly took the form of things I'd rather be doing tomorrow, (my Saturday btw) then sitting through another day of the conference.

Would rather be at the construction office working some problem I felt couldn't wait till Monday.
Would rather be drinking a pumpkin beer and watching college football.
Would rather be giving my little sister a hug.
Would rather be checking out my brothers first house, which he and his wife just got an offer accepted on.
Would rather be in Mbarara with my Muzungu friends.
Would rather be having my regular phone call with my dad without an annoying taxi driver yelling and beeping his horn and impenetrable static.
Would rather be wearing a sweater and blue jeans and watching the leaves change colors.
Would rather be doing laundry with a washing machine.
Would rather be reading a book and enjoying my usual weekend McDonald's coffee/biscuit or Chick-Fil-A biscuit.
Would rather be jogging and not having people come up to me to see if they can help, wondering what I am running away from.
Would rather be on a road-trip to Tallahassee
Would rather to what? to not have to hear the Uganglish 'mid sentence 'what'' every 5 minutes!!!


What does this all mean. Are people back home going to be seeing me soon? Not even close. It means this is part of the Peace Corps experience that this blog is attempting to document. Right now I'm just dealing with moments, and moments I can take. Hoping for some small victories in the next few weeks... but darn that pumpkin beer sounds good.