Final Post

I've initiated the process to resign from the Peace Corps and return home to the United States.

The Peace Corps was often a disappointing experience. I was able to do good work and am proud to say I made some small difference in the world while I was here. I feel the overwhelming bureaucracy of the Peace Corps and the adverse effects of foreign aid essentially made it impossible for me to realize the potential that this experience could have been.

While here I've fought HIV and AIDS; I designed and oversaw construction of a basketball court with Rebecca Workman; I participated in the planning and running of a camp to develop the Boys of Uganda into positive leaders; I promoted the use of highly efficient mud stoves to reduce fuel cost at my school, I introduced my organization to cost control practices, I taught important life skills to Orphans and Vulnerable children once a week; I advocated for volunteers as a representative of our training class; I developed a new model for communication with Peace Corps Invitees and successfully implemented it.

While here I conversed in a foreign language, I experienced a way of life far different than mine back home, I bathed in a bucket for 18 months, I helped slaughter and cook a delicious pig, I washed my clothes by hand, I made lifelong friends, and I let myself fall in love for the first time in my life.

Yesterday I found that there wasn't a single day left in my scheduled 8 remaining months of Peace Corps that I looked forward to. This experience has nothing left to offer me. I'm proud of what I've done and for the most part in the man I have been while here. I'm glad I'm leaving when I had nothing left worth doing, not when my 2 years happened to be expiring.

I believe this will be my final post. And so...

Mom and Dad, Thank you for the life and love you have given me. If I have done anything good here it is because you raised me into the man I am.

Annie, thank you for all the support and love.

Elaine, the support I received from you and the old team was incredible.

Nick, One of the greatest outcomes of my Peace Corps experience is making friends I intend to know the rest of my life. Can't wait for our future adventures.

Kendall, You were right, it was worth it.

Alexi, We weren't close friends until I really needed one. Thank you.

Matt, Yatzee! I couldn't resist. You better come to a Clemson-UNC game with me.

Drew & Christy, I miss you two already. We've got lots of good times ahead.

Becca, Thanks for taking care of me when I most needed it. I'll see you in America.

Jenny, Knowing you changed my life, I'll never forget you.

A Quick Disclaimer On Texas

I had mixed feelings about the one line from my previous blog post in which I said one of the highs of my week was that I wouldn't have to move to Texas. I'm not going to remove it, but wish I'd thought through how it might be interpreted.

It was intended as dark humor. I think most people who know me well and understood the dynamic of Jenny and my relationship understood that. I think people who know me also are aware how much I needed that humor.

I had the opportunity to spend some time in Texas during the holiday and enjoyed it so much. My only criticism I have ever made of Texas is that it simply is not my home and I find it hard to feel at home there. I don't regret spending Christmas there at all and certainly don't regret having had the pleasure to meet Jenny's family and friends.

Weekend Update: February 4, 2012

Highs:

I don't have to live in Texas. I am blessed with the love of so many lifelong friends, without whom I do not know how I would get by.

Lows:

Jenny broke up with me. My watch band broke. My organization is once again unhappy with my dedication.

What I Did:

Was planning to go to my org's end of month meeting that is held on the last Tuesday of the month. For some reason they decided to have it on January 24 and not tell me. Did some financial analysis and critiquing of my org, telling them things like falsifying flyers and bribing the ministry shouldn't come out of the development fund.

What Is On The Agenda:

I'm participating in a training reform committee this week. Will also try to do some reading before heading back to site and repairing things with my org.

Sanity Meter:

Perhaps the sanest I've been in a long time. A certain clarity comes with retrospecting loss.

What I'm Reading:

Stephen King's The Stand.

This. Nothing more to say. Please watch.