'Going All Ryan Luckie' On Uganda

To my regular readers it shouldn't come as any surprise to hear the statement, 'my sanity is questionable right now.' As a result I'm taking every opportunity to get out of my community that I can. It is also inspiring me to celebrate the few opportunities I have to be myself. I've had the opportunity to 'go all Ryan Luckie' a bit this year and doing so is probably one of the few things keeping me from going over edge. I'd like to take this opportunity to document two of the 'lapses in sanity' or 'moments of pure genius' (debatable) I've recently had.

I believe I documented a while back (although I'm not sure) about how my rolex (egg wrapped in chapati bread) guy one day tried to charge me an extra 100 shillings (about 4 cents) for my rolex one night. The result was that I wen't to his competitor the next evening, and the next 6 months that I ate rolex. Well his competitor had a new trainee up one night since I've been back that tried to charge me the increased rate. As with last time, I paid it, but have not been back to that rolex stand since. I've returned to the first guy who burned me to determine if this was now the village standard price or if he had learned his lesson. I can proudly say that I've taught a very important lesson to the rolex businesses in Nakyenyi about customer loyalty. The young entrepreneur, seeing his chance to capture a significant and steady share of the rolex market in Nakyenyi wen't back to the original price, and has been my rolex guy ever since. It seems crazy and perhaps insignificant to document this to such a degree, but it is perhaps one of my biggest victories in this country. We are supposed be creating a greater understanding of American culture among Ugandans. I've had volunteers tell me after befriending locals that the locals attempt to charge them more money because "you will give me more because you are now my friend." I've taught people in my village the lesson that I don't care what new circumstances they have at home, I don't care if they are short on cash and they need a little boost, and I don't care if you and I chat every now and then and you now consider me your friend. When their is competition and little differentiation between products price is king, and my customer loyalty has a memory of 1 sale, the last sale. One of the rolex guys in town lost my business and I did not say a word to him for 6 months after a price hike, the beneficiary of that mistake then threw away his lock on me as a client. We'll see if my new prefered vendor has learned anything over the next 6 months.

I also had a great 'Ryan Luckie' moment in a taxi today. A mutatu is a 15 passenger van. I was in a mutatu today with 26 people. I had my backpack and was perfectly comfortable, not because I am now used to traveling in a mutatu, but because I've had it with mutatu conductors and just wasn't taking any BS today. It is illegal to have more than 14 passengers in a mutatu. Drivers typically pull over a mile before a police check and have a motor cycle or several take excess passengers around the check point. Our car did that today but it wasn't necessary on my bench. In the second backseat row of the mutatu (typically a more crowded one) I was asked to extend when we already had 3 people. A 20 minute standoff and screaming fest insued between me and the conductor in which I just kept falling back on my position, 'THIS IS MY SEAT! I PAID FOR THIS SEAT!' When my conductor tried to jam people in the front back seat and then position himself in the back with me I put my chaco to his torso and physically push/kicked him out of the car. He tried to kick me out of the car after we had been driving for over an hour but I refused to pay him a single shilling for the journey thus far. We had a verbal contract for my transport to my town and I was not backing down. It is overdramatised and doesn't sound impresive on the blog I know, but it remains perhaps one of the greatest lessons I can teach Ugandans. They are the customer, they are in charge. Why anyone ever let a conductor put another passenger on their lap without the cost of the journey changing baffles me. I'm taking it one step further. I negotiate a price and I will not accept anything less than my fair share of the legal capacity of the vehicle. Whether the conductor intended to sit 4 in a row when he negotiated the price isn't my concern, he's the one breaking the law, and his car says 14 passenger limit on the side. I look forward to scuffles over this in the future. I'd love to get thrown in a Ugandan jail for not paying my taxi fair one day just to make my case. Until then I'll be inspiring Ugandans, 13-25 passengers at a time.